Hot Buttons - Roadblocks to communication

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Hot Buttons - Roadblocks to communication

Emotional Intelligence Is Limited by Reactivity

One of the biggest blocks to emotional intelligence and effective

communication is emotional reactivity. You know how it is, you have all the

best of intentions to have a productive communication with somebody and they

say the "wrong thing" - the thing that pushes your "hot button". Often it

can be a criticism, or a negative reaction to your "great idea". In any

event, defensiveness arises and communication becomes regrettable. This

shuts down any creativity or collaboration that could be possible in this

situation.

When this happens, it is because our survival instincts triggered our

emotional brain which overrides the more rational part of our brain, causing

a "fight or flight" stress response. Reactivity causes us to respond in a

more rigid, automatic fashion. We fight for our position or passively

retreat from it, often losing sight of our primary goals of creativity and

collaboration.

While the negative emotions such as anger and fear reduce the number of

behavioral options available, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson , Principal

Investigator of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Lab at the

University of North Carolina, finds that positive emotions expand our

cognitive and behavioral responses, allowing for a broader view and expanded

opportunities.

An emotionally intelligent leader will be aware of these emotional pitfalls

and have some strategies to switch into a more positive emotional state

quickly. Some ways of doing this are:

" Developing self-awareness of problematic emotional patterns. Looking back

on your life, what situations cause anger, fear or judgment to arise?
" Noticing automatic self-talk and feelings that these situations engender,

such as "I'm a failure", or "this person's out to get me".
" Finding a more realistic and functional way to reframe it.
" Practice breathing and relaxation exercises (examples - link) to give

yourself a moment to move out of the reactive emotional brain into the a

wiser part of the brain.
" Engender a sense of curiosity about where the other person may be coming

from and what a more creative way of looking at the situation might be.

Kathleen Murray, an expert on reactivity and positive psychology, will

provide more tips on these emotional intelligence subjects. She and Bill

provide opportunities for professional growth in these emotional intelligence

areas in their Group Executive Coaching Tele-Workshops. For more information,

click here: http://www.EmotionallyIntelligentLeadership.com/index.htm#bottom

.

Article Source: http://articlenexus.com

How emotional intelligence can help leaders be more effective. What do you do when someone pushes your "hot buttons?" Click here for some suggestions http:// www.eaglealliance.com/2007/12/emotional- intelligence-is-limited-by-reactivity/

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